


Happy Non-Denominational Holiday, Shepard

by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles)



Series: Downtown Eastside [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: But he's always Shepard's No 1, Christmas, Downtown Eastside, Friendship, Gift Fic, Hanukkah, Holidays, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Kaidan is more a cameo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8963014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_sprinkles/pseuds/Lemon
Summary: Shepard gets invited to a Christmas party he doesn't really want to attend, but goes in order to make Kaidan happy. Brooding in the kitchen for most of the night, he finds an unlikely companion to join in his less than cheery holiday spirit.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sheploosbooty](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sheploosbooty).



> Written for Sheploosbooty on tumblr based on this prompt: Shepard going on a proper Christmas party with K or smth? a bit angst like Shep never really had a proper Christmas and he kinda feels like he shouldn’t be enjoying the party that much, that he doesn’t deserve it?
> 
> I decided to take the opportunity to write Shepard interacting with some of Kaidan's friends, and picked Tali because I enjoy writing her and I figured she'd be in full support of Shepard's Bah-Humbug personality.

 Shepard gripped his bottle of expensive beer at the neck, wringing it between his pointer and thumb, rubbing the sticker off with each hard swipe. Christmas music in the jazz style jingled over from the living room, the clink of wine glasses and cheese knives accompanying the music and the low rumble of conversation. In the distance Shepard could hear Kaidan explaining the finer points of wine and vineyard maintenance.

 “Well my parents have a vineyard in the valley and—”

 Shepard scooted back against the corner, effectively wedging himself further against the counter-top. The vestiges of an Okanagan valley wine sat on his tongue—a drink Kaidan had insisted he try when they first arrived at Liara’s. Shepard hated it.

 He took another long drink of his beer.

 He’d been invited to an early December Christmas party by “Liara”, but Shepard knew Kaidan had to ask if he could tag along. Shepard didn’t want to be here anymore than Liara wanted him in her apartment, but when Kaidan had asked after a date—and with a kiss that tasted of brandy and sweet cookies, no less—Shepard had to agree. It was an excuse to hang out with Kaidan before he was whisked away to spend the holidays with his parents, at their expensive estate in the expensive valley where they made expensive wine, and talked about expensive shit.

 And had a good time with their family, with their gifts and Christmas lights and shitty, tacky Christmas sweaters.

 Shepard took another long sip of his beer and fiddled with the cracker plate next to him on the counter. Even the crackers looked fucking expensive.

 Shepard didn’t want to be here; no one else at the party wanted him here; only Kaidan did, and he was currently tipsy on spiked eggnog and had gotten into an elaborate discussion about medical… stuff. That’s when Shepard had ventured off, Kaidan asking only briefly if he was alright before he got dragged into another conversation by his preppy friends, giggling and gushing about their holiday plans.

 That’s when Shepard found refuge in the kitchen, away from the prying and judgemental looks, the tittering laughter of Liara and her occasional look of concern—like she thought he’d steal something—and most importantly, away from the oppressive knowledge of You Don’t Belong Here.

 Plus, the kitchen was stocked with beer.

 Finishing his off, Shepard placed it carefully next to the other selection of recyclables before grabbing another bottle and twisting the cap off with a little more force than necessary.

 Shepard heard her before he saw her—a gentle shuffle on the floor followed by a disgruntled sigh, and then Tali herself, clad in her usual space leggings and a bright purple scarf wrapped around her, bushy, curly hair puffed out and tamed with star shaped hair clips.

 She looked as annoyed as he felt, and he watched as she sipped her Canada Dry through a straw. She didn’t appear to see him as she shuffled over to the fridge and threw it open with gusto. Bending over, she rattled around inside before coming out with another can of ginger ale.

 She almost dropped it when she saw him.

 “Shit, hefhadeta oti!”

 Shepard quirked a brow, watching as Tali tried to push her heart back down her throat.

 “Uh… sorry?” he mumbled.

 She swallowed and brushed her hair out of her face, cheeks pink. “I just didn’t see you there. I thought I was a-alone and…”

 She trailed off, sighing heavily. Heading to the counter next to Shepard, she cracked open her can of pop and dropped in the straw. Taking a long drink, she grimaced slightly as she stared intently at the cracker plate.

 Shepard shifted to the side, giving her—apparently—much needed space.

 “A bit jumpy, I see,” he said, watching her cheeks go even pinker.

 “Well usually Liara doesn’t have large men lurking in her kitchen,” Tali replied once she’d swallowed.

 “I wasn’t lurking,” Shepard said quickly.

 “Yeah? Then what were you doing standing in the corner all alone in the kitchen?”

 “I was… just… hanging out. With my beer. Because it’s what I do.”

 Tali nodded, a tiny little smirk appearing on her lips. Shepard glowered and held his beer closer to his chest.

 “What are you doing lurking in the hallway and not with all your friends?” he asked, and it was Tali’s turn to stutter.

 “I also wasn’t ‘lurking’. I was… admiring Liara’s photographs on her wall when I realized I had drunk all of my pop.” 

 Shepard blinked a few times. Tali did the same.

 Finally she huffed and slumped against the counter next to him. Picking at the cracker plate, she plucked one up and dunked it in the cream cheese dip again and again, piling on more but not eating any of it. Shepard watched Tali, expecting her to go running off back to her friends with their fancy drinks and wines and educated conversations as soon as she could, but…

 She remained, huddled up in Shepard’s Fortress of Solitude and looking just as awkward and disinterested in the party as he felt.

 “You uh… you gonna eat that?” he asked.

 Tali stood up straighter and shook her head. Lifting the cream cheese with a bit of cracker, she offered it up to him.

 “It’s not kosher,” she explained.

 Shepard took it but didn’t eat it. “Right.”

  _Whatever the fuck that means._

Tali sighed again and turned to rest her back against the counter, mimicking Shepard’s pose but with her can of ginger ale. Shepard looked back down at the cracker, noting how it was about to break in half from the weight of the spread. Putting it down next to the sink he pushed it back a little, hoping Tali didn’t actually expect him to eat it.

 She seemed too interested in looking sadly down at her socks to notice.

 Shepard hadn’t spoken to Tali much—not really beyond friendly chit-chat whenever she visited Kaidan’s for a night of whatever they did together. Shepard usually left, disinterested in sitting around pretending to be nice and polite, but as far as Kaidan’s friends went, Tali was the one he had briefly considered putting on the charade for. She was different than Liara and Ashley; less protective of Kaidan and more relaxed.

 She seemed curious about Shepard more than anything—didn’t shy away from him or shun him, which was evident by her practically leaning against him in the kitchen as she continued to look at her socks.

 “You uh… you not enjoying the party?” he asked, feeling like he should attempt to make small talk.

 Maybe then she’d leave him to his Fortress of Solitude.

 Tali shrugged and took another sip of her drink. “Can I let you in on a secret?”

 Shepard nodded.

 Tali sighed and turned, looking up at him with big brown eyes that reminded him a little of Kaidan. “I hate being invited to this party.”

 Shepard hadn’t expected that.

 “Liara invites me every year, and every year I come,” she continued, “but I don’t come because I _like_ it; I come because it’s expected of me, and I don’t want to hurt Liara’s feelings. She thinks because I’m far away from home that I’d enjoy the company—and I do! It’s a nice gesture, but… I feel awkward. Like I don’t fit in. Do you ever feel like that?”

 “Yeah, I can relate,” Shepard mumbled.

  Tali smiled slightly, lips tight in a line. “Christmas is a nice holiday—perfectly respectable and… very Christian. But it’s not like celebrating my own holiday with my own family back… back home.”

 Shepard knew Tali wasn’t from Canada, but had very little idea _where_ she was from, and always felt a bit embarrassed to ask—like he should already know like a cultured, educated person would.

 But there was no one around to make fun of him for his ignorance, so he chanced it and asked.

 “And home would be?”

 “Tel Aviv,” Tali replied, and explained further when Shepard quirked a brow, “It’s in Israel.”

 “So you’re like… Jewish or some shit?” he asked, internally cringing when the ‘some shit’ slipped out.

  _This is why you don’t come to shit like this. And this is why Kaidan doesn’t mind when you wander off alone._

 “Yep. Or, at least, I’m Jewish when there is no really good non-Kosher wine around to tempt me.” She grinned, but lost the smile when she saw how confused Shepard looked.

 “Guess there isn’t really good wine around then,” Shepard said, pointing to her ginger ale.

 “They don’t know good wine here in Canada,” Tali said, then gripped Shepard’s arm. “Don’t tell Kaidan I said that.”

 Shepard laughed and nodded. “Promise.”

 “Good, because he can get very particular about his wine,” she said.

 Silence filled the room once more, and Tali resumed her sock staring. But Shepard could feel she wanted to keep talking, her attention flicking up to him now and again, leg bouncing slightly as she fiddled with the straw of her drink.

 Shepard had never experienced home-sickness—never had a home per-say to miss—but he could read the signs when he saw it. Tali missed her home, and being here, surrounded by traditions and customs she had no attachment to, wasn’t helping with that.

 But that feeling of isolation and of not knowing what to do or how to fit in? Shepard _more_ than understood that.

 “So… what’s the holiday season like back home? You guys celebrate Hanukkah, yeah?” he asked.

 Tali perked up then, her smile reappearing and head lifting.

 “It’s wonderful,” she said, turning once more to look up at him. “Everyone sets up menorahs in their windowsills and the city has large menorahs in the streets, and when everything is light up the streets just _glow_ at night—brighter than any street lamps or Christmas tree strings you can think of. Everyone is excited and proud to share in their heritage. A-and the food! The food, Shepard, is incredible. We have sufganiyot, which are like miniature versions of those raspberry donuts you have at Tim Hortons, only a million times better. A-and when you’re a kid, adults give you gelt or little chocolate coins. At home we eat latkes and sing songs, and we light the candles together and… yeah.”

 Tali trailed off then, and Shepard could see the welling of tears in her eyes. But she was still smiling—genuine and cheerful—and Shepard’s brief moment of regret slipped out the door when he saw how _happy_ she looked.

 “I love Canada,” she continued, “and I want to stay here. But sometimes I really miss my family and the streets of Israel when it’s Hanukkah.”

 “And the sifga… the donuts,” Shepard added.

 Tali laughed and leaned a little bit further on Shepard. He let her.

 “And the sufganiyot, yes.”

 Putting her drink down next to her, Tali jumped up on to the counter and sat down beside Shepard, feet swinging back and forth, heels gently knocking against the counter doors. Shepard relaxed then, and took a drink of his beer, forgetting he’d been holding it all this time.

 The music from the party continued, as did the excited chatter and Kaidan’s distinctive voice that Shepard could pick out of a crowd of a thousand.

 Tali passed him another cracker, one that he ate this time.

 “I’m guessing this isn’t your scene, either?” she asked after a time. She sounded hesitant—like she wasn’t sure if Shepard would answer or snap her head off.

 “Nah,” Shepard said, shrugging.

 “How come?”

 “Dead parents, never adopted, lived on the streets—not much time for holiday cheer,” he simply replied.

 “Oh… I’m sorry.”

 “Don’t be,” Shepard said.

 “I’m not sorry you asked about my traditions,” Tali said after a pause. “It’s nice to talk about it, so… thank you.”

 Shepard nodded, cheeks going hot for a second. He never thought he’d be bonding with one of Kaidan’s friends—let alone a tiny lady from half-way across the world, with a wealth of experience and a wealth of money in her pockets. But here they were; two completely different people, sharing in the experience of ‘not fitting in’ and… enjoying it, in a way.

 Shepard felt a bit special; like he’d shared in a moment that no one else—not even Kaidan—got to have with Tali.

 He coughed and cleared his throat, casting away the momentary feeling of giddiness. He didn’t _do_ giddiness.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “And don’t feel too bad about asking me about why I don’t celebrate Christmas. The real reason is because I can’t fucking stand eggnog.”

 Tali gasped.

 “ _What?_ ”

  Shepard chuckled when he saw her expression—eyes wide, mouth slack with the straw of her drink resting on her bottom lip.

 “Don’t tell me you like eggnog, the most traditionally Christmas drink of the season,” he said.

 Tali nodded. “Of course I do. It’s the only time of the year you can get away with drinking cream and nutmeg without having someone judge you for your life choices, Shepard.”

 Before Shepard could retort, Tali was jumping off the counter and grabbed his wrist, dragging him out of the kitchen and toward the snack table—right in the thick of the party.

 “You haven’t had eggnog until you’ve had Liara’s homemade eggnog,” she said, pouring him a glass.

 Normally Shepard wouldn’t have allowed someone to manhandle him; normally he wouldn’t have accepted a glass of the drink he despised; normally he wouldn’t have allowed anyone to order him around, and normally he wouldn’t have allowed anyone to drag him out of his Fortress of Solitude and right back into the shark tank.

 But it was the holiday season, and as he toasted Tali and took a sip, holding back a grimace as the cold, slimy liquid slipped down his throat, it was worth it all to see the little surprised smile Kaidan shot him from across the room.

 “Happy Hanukkah, Tali,” he said.

 “Happy non-denominational holidays to you, Shepard.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to potionmaster for the beta work, and thank you to everyone who read it!


End file.
